You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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