So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
