OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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