I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
