Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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