if only i could text you this smell
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
