i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
