Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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