Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
