I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
