i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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