well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
