Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
