Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
