they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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