I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
