I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize