Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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