if you like me you must not know who I am
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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