After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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