The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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