You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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