# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
