my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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