new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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