Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
