theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
