I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
