I love black thongs
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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