Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
