I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
