used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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