I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Dick very happy bro
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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