No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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