so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
handjob tips. give me some.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
