He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
