Kiss
Puke
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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