I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
