Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
