Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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