Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize