Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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