i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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