So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
