that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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