Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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