That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
