dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It was like getting head from an anaconda
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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