Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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