I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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