I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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