i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I stole a fireplace last night.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i think i just lost a toe
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
