It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
