i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
