Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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