Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize