Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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