You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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