4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Your penis caused this!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
