Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize