dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
