My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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