11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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