How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
